November 22, 2003

Welcome to the Writer's Noose

The Writer's Noose is a short story in weblog format. It was presented on the sly in the tradition of War of the Worlds. Some regular readers of my weblog (Snooze Button Dreams) were aware that it was a work of fiction but the majority of commenters on this site were honestly unaware. Of the authors and commenters here, Chuck, Burger Queen, Alan and Becky were my characters. All of the others were readers.

Start at the beginning and read on through. I hope you enjoy the story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Posted by Jim at 10:10 AM | Comments (7)

November 01, 2003



MAZINAW - Ontario Provincial Police responding to an anonymous break-in report found the murdered body of a young man last night. Only limited details have been released as the OPP and Royal Canadian Mounted Police begin investigation.

Charles Benson, age 31, was vacationing on Lake Mazinaw in a cabin near the one where his body was found. Cause of death has been listed as asphyxiation due to strangulation, though police have not been able to identify a murder weapon. Theft may have been a catalyst for the crime as Benson's own cabin had been ransacked with several items located at or near the murder scene.

Benson was found at the base of one of Bon Echo Park's famous ancient cedar trees, which are unusually plentiful in the area between the two cabins.

Posted by Becky at 06:14 AM | Comments (5)

October 31, 2003

Yes and no

No, Chuck. Burger Queen wasn't just you. Part of me was there too. I was trapped. You held me so tight to this earth that I couldn't escape. I couldn't go where I needed to go.

Forgive me for being so harsh. For letting and helping you be so harsh to yourself. I had to take the chance or I might never escape. You are in a powerful place, an ancient and holy place. And you are here at a powerful time. I had to act while I had a window and I had to work through you because you were the one holding me prisoner.

But it is okay now. You've faced your demon and vanquished it. You have finally admitted to yourself what happened and I am free.

Yes I understood my vision. I knew what would happen before I took you back. I chose to be loved and to love. What other choice would a sane person make?

Do not do this thing that you are planning, Chuck. Live for both of us now. Now that you can.

Posted by Becky at 12:20 PM | Comments (1)


I'm going for a walk now. One last time. I rooted around in Benny's shed until I found what I need. I won't be posting again. You see, I I've got it all figured out now. The Burger Queen shit, I mean. How we have the same service provider, the same IP address. How she only posts when I'm asleep or passed out. The water in my engines. Batteries being drained. How she seems to know everything. All of that crap.

You see, Peewee, that flea, is me.

But subtitue BQ for Peewee.

I'm cracked. And tired. And I miss my Becky too much to stand it any more. And I don't deserve to be here after what I did to her.

Writer's Noose. Indeed. I wonder if I was planning this the whole time in my overactive little subconcious. Or maybe I can blame it on BQ?

Goodbye and thank you for bearing with me. I'm going to smash this laptop up pretty good and dump it in the lake. If Burger Queen or I didn't kill Benny and Gail i don't want them to read all of this when they get back.

Posted by Charles at 11:20 AM | Comments (2)

The end of the story

I wrote this yesterday but didn't have any juice left to run the sattelite. Here it is now. Continued from here.

She said no, she wouldn't marry me. She cried and begged me not to leave. I can't even describe what I was feeling. There was an ice cold rod at the center of my being that sent shivering bolts through me. I couldn't control my shaking. I was furious, over the top furious. I felt rejected, played with, unloved. At the same time I knew that she loved me more than anything in the world. The dichotomy was a spear straight through the tattered shreds of my heart. I couldn't stand it. I left.

I got in my car and drove off. I went to Niagara Falls. I don't know why. That place is loaded with memories of us together and it should have been the last place on earth I would have gone to. I rented a room and stayed in it for two days. I didn't eat, I didn't drink, I didn't sleep. I just sat there and stared into space. Broken.

Continue reading "The end of the story"
Posted by Charles at 11:05 AM | Comments (1)

Call me McGyver

I'm back. Damn it took some work but I'm nothing if not stubborn as an ass. Or just an ass, depending on who you ask.

I worked on the generator for hours, trying to get that thing to fire up. Cleaned out the cylinders (that were, predictably, full of water), dried everything out, took apart the carb (which was, predictably, full of water), dried that out. Ran the starter until the battery was dead then pulled on the manual starter rope until I couldn't pull any more. I checked the gas can again. It was full of water. Checked the spare can, all water. The can in the boat was (can you guess?) water.

So I ripped the sattelite receiver off of the roof, ripped all of the wiring out of the house, and put all that, the sattelite controller and the laptop in a couple layers of Hefty bags. There was no fucking way I was walking through the woods again but I figured I could row the boat to Benny and Gail's cabin. They have land line power.

Continue reading "Call me McGyver"
Posted by Charles at 07:45 AM | Comments (1)

October 30, 2003

A Pinch of Courage

I cracked open the Pinch. For those of you who are not scotch drinkers, it is a very nice scotch. Not snobby scotch, but the finest of the "regular folk can afford this once in a while" scotches. For those of you who are scotch drinkers - nanny nanny boo boo, I'm having Pinch and you aren't. Hehehehe.

It was supposed to be my celebration bottle for when I was done writing but I think we can pretty much screw that plan, don't you? As the level in the bottle decreases, my woeful mood increases. Except for the sadness part. I miss Becky so much. All this crap, the drunken ramblings, the psycho troll from hell, all of it. It has really brought it all home. And I just really miss her.

So I'm going to finish the story. Not for you, you psychotic bitch from hell! It's for Becky, because I owe it to her and for me because I deserve it.

Continue reading "A Pinch of Courage"
Posted by Charles at 12:22 PM | Comments (6)

Not so good

Oh, God, I feel awful. I'm cracking up, I know it.

I went to Benny and Gail's cabin yesterday. I had to go and see. The things that Bitch Queen posted, I had to see if they were there. If they were okay. I was so drunk I almost couldn't walk. Everything was moving. The trees wouldn't stand still. And they were grabbing me. Branches snagged me, scraped me. There was no sound except me and the noise of the wind in the trees. I kept falling. My hands are so messed up I am typing with two fingers. The forest hates me, I could feel it. I could hear the trees laughing at me. Fucked up drunk falling through the woods. God, it was awful. What was the booze and what wasn't? I don't know any more.

Continue reading "Not so good"
Posted by Charles at 09:02 AM | Comments (1)

October 29, 2003

The WHOLE truth!

No, Sweet Meat. That's not enough. Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

Posted by Burger Queen at 01:20 PM | Comments (9)


This is very difficult to write. I haven't spoken or written anything about this since it happened and I've aborted and restarted this post more times than I can count. Bear with me if it doesn't come across as some of my best writing.

Becky and I met through a mutual friend at a Holloween party (I was a bottle of bourbon, she was a martini - we hit it right off). I fell in love with her straight away. Love at first site and all of that romantic crap. It was overpowering for me as I hadn't ever been in a relationship where I cared so much for another person. Where I cared more for that other person than I cared for myself.

I panicked. I cheated. In my twisted subconcious I guess I decided that I would destroy the relationship before it was destroyed some other way - because nothing this good was possible and it was inevitable that it had to get messed up eventually and at least this way I was in control.

Becky found out. She broke up with me. I was crushed. Totally devastated. You know how they say that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? Imagine how much worse that is when you actually do know what you've got and you are the one who throws it away.

Continue reading "Becky"
Posted by Charles at 12:39 PM | Comments (0)

[start log]

[/BurgerQueen sets BurgerQueen +v]
[BurgerQueen] ...
[BurgerQueen] ...
[/NooseWriter joins #straighttalk]
[BurgerQueen] There you are! I thought you wouldn't show.
[BurgerQueen] Hello? Use the keyboard, Sweet Meat.
[BurgerQueen] Oops!
[/BurgerQueen sets NooseWriter +v]
[BurgerQueen] Sorry about that! You can talk now Chuckie.
[NooseWriter] Give me my blog back, you bitch! I can't even log on any more!
[BurgerQueen] Language, Chuckie, language. You shouldn't speak like that to a lady.
[NooseWriter] When I find a lady I'll make sure to be polite. Let me back into my blog!
[BurgerQueen] But I'm having such fun! I don't have my own blog, you know. I like posting on yours very much.
[NooseWriter] Just cut it out already. As soon as Pixy Misa gets my email he's going to knock you off anyway. Let me back in to my blog.
[BurgerQueen] Pixy is...occupied. He can't get you out of this one.
[NooseWriter] Why are you doing this? And what is that crap you posted about Benny and Gail? That is sick shit! You are fucking sick!
[BurgerQueen] I speak only the truth, Sweet Meat. Sometimes it's hard on people to hear the truth but I believe it makes us all stronger if we anchor ourselves firmly in reality.
[NooseWriter] What the hell are you talking about? And stop calling me that!
[BurgerQueen] I'm talking about the truth. Have you been truthful on your blog?
[NooseWriter] Of course I have! What reason would I have for lying about crap like not catching a damned fish?
[BurgerQueen] Get off of the fish already, Chuck. The fish are a side effect, not the problem.
[BurgerQueen] I mean the truth in the courtroom sense, Chuck. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
[NooseWriter] Whatever! It's just a personal blog. I never intended it to be the story of my life, just a way to keep in the writing mode. I'm not going to lay down my life story there.
[BurgerQueen] That's fine, Chuck. Nobody wants your life story anywhere. That's not the truth I'm talking about. You need to tell the whole truth about things you've glossed over. Important things that deserve to be told!!
[NooseWriter] Why can't you just leave me the hell alone?
[BurgerQueen] Excellent choice of words, Chuckie. Why CAN'T I just leave you alone? I would if I could but I CAN'T.
[NooseWriter] I just want my blog back and for you to get the hell out of it.
[BurgerQueen] Will you tell the truth?
[NooseWriter] ABOUT WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!
[BurgerQueen] Don't shout, Chuckie. It's very rude. Think about it. Reread our conversation here. You know what it's about.
[BurgerQueen] Chuckie?
[BurgerQueen] Oh Chuckie! Where are youuuuu?!
[NooseWriter] I'm here. I get it now.
[BurgerQueen] Will you tell the truth?
[NooseWriter] About Becky?
[BurgerQueen] Bingo
[NooseWriter] That's not something I really want to talk about. Not in person and certainly not on a public blog.
[BurgerQueen] I know it isn't, Chuck, but it'll be better for you if you do.
[NooseWriter] And if I don't?
[BurgerQueen] Then no blog. No nuthin after a while. The boat won't work, the generator won't work, the woods will be closed to you. You won't be able to write. You'll be alone like you've never been alone before. And then you won't be alone but you'll wish you were.
[NooseWriter] This is too much. You're scaring the shit out of me.
[BurgerQueen] The truth shall set you free.
[BurgerQueen] Will you tell the truth?
[BurgerQueen] Chuck?
[NooseWriter] i'm here
[BurgerQueen] Will you tell the truth?
[NooseWriter] okay
[BurgerQueen] Give me a couple of minutes to unlock your account. You can start writing in the meantime.
[NooseWriter] okay
[/end log]

Charles should be posting shortly.

Posted by Burger Queen at 09:32 AM | Comments (0)

Benjamin and Gail Sutherland

Suddenly, October 25, 2003, at the ages of 64 and 57, of Montreal, Quebec, beloved parents of Benjamin Sutherland Jr and Felicia Monmarch. Friends can't do much of anything until the bodies are found but after that they can pay respects at the home of Benjamin Sutherland Jr. Arrangements to be announced.

Chuckie looks so peaceful when he's sleeping.

Posted by Burger Queen at 04:34 AM | Comments (0)

October 28, 2003

What the hell is going on here?

Now I've been hacked?!

Burger Queen - Listen to me you little rodent dropping. This crap has to stop. Are you truly this twisted? How can you get your jollies with this macabre display? It's not even human! What the hell do you want from me?!

Here, I'll throw you a bone - I still didn't catch any fish even with cheater bait. Does that give you a thrill?

Pixy Misa - Please help here. I don't know how the troll got in but I can't get it out. The username doesn't show up in my posters list and its post doesn't show up as editable for me. Please give this monster an administrative discharge!

Posted by Charles at 03:01 PM | Comments (1)

Rebecca Marie Longcloud

Suddenly, January 4, 2001, at the age of 27, of Cattaraugus Indian Reservation, beloved daughter of Michael Longcloud and Colleen Tavish-Longcloud; brother of Kyle, Solon, Kerry Longcloud; granddaughter of the late David and Vivian Longcloud and the late Timothy and MaryAnn Tavish; also survived by several aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. Friends may call at the home of Michael Longcloud, Rte 438, Cattaraugas Indian Reservation, where the funeral service will be held Tuesday morning at 10 AM. Arrangements by Baker and Son Funeral Home, North Collins, NY.

You shouldn't have banned me from the comments, Sweet Meat. That makes me angry.

Posted by Burger Queen at 02:31 PM | Comments (0)

A bit about Mazinaw

I've been doing a bit of looking around about Mazinaw, Bon Echo Park and the stuff in and around here. For a decent look at what the park surrounding the lake is all about check out this site.

It turns out that the The Mazinaw Lake Monster isn't named Mazzy after all. The Indian name for it is Mishipashoo, which is both more impressive and somewhat more sneeze-like as far as names go. Here's a pic of the beastie:

Continue reading "A bit about Mazinaw"
Posted by Charles at 10:54 AM | Comments (5)

The Noose Tightens

I lost it again. I can't write! I was typing away like a madman, barely able to keep up with my thoughts and then it just stopped. I reread the stuff I've been putting down and it is absolute crap. I can't believe I wrote it. No continuity, no plot or central storyline. When you are through with one of the stories all you can do is scratch your head and say "what was this guy on"?

Continue reading "The Noose Tightens"
Posted by Charles at 09:39 AM | Comments (3)

Do you hate red lights as much as I do?

Then do something about it.

Tired of sitting at endless red lights? Frustrated by lights that turn from green to red too quickly, trapping you in traffic?

Now anyone can breeze through congested intersections just like the police, thanks to a $300 dashboard device that changes traffic lights from red to green, making nasty commutes a thing of the past and leaving other drivers open-mouthed at your ability to manipulate traffic.

Continue reading "Do you hate red lights as much as I do?"
Posted by Charles at 08:57 AM | Comments (2)

October 27, 2003

The Troll is Slain

Okay, I rebanned the IP for my troll. I can't post comments in my own weblog but now it can't either. I'm saving the last couple comments that it made. As Allan said, they may be useful later if I need to take any official action against this bastard.

By the way, Allan. I've verified that IP block doesn't take out a range. I don't know how the troll and I seem to be getting the same IP but one of the people on the MT forum mentioned something about IP Renew? That the troll might be specifying my IP when they get their lease? Way over my head.

As for the crap that Burger Queen was posting - it's crap. It's from a troll. Take it as the ramblings of a lunatic who feeds off of causing other people to be miserable.

In happier news, the rain has stopped and the air is so incredibly clean that there's no way I can stay inside to write. So, I'm going outside to write. Aren't laptops great?

Should be able to do some fishing tomorrow too and try out that rig that Benny lent me.

Posted by Charles at 06:50 PM | Comments (0)

Where's my knight in shiny armor?

I'm at a loss on how to get rid of my troll.

I tried IP banning it but then I couldn't post comments either. Apparently we're using the same provider?

I have the comments set to demand an email address but it just puts in non-existant ones.

I've emailed support at my provider to see what they can do but I haven't received a response.

Any ideas?

Posted by Charles at 10:57 AM | Comments (6)

I'm back!

Yesterday was not a good day. I woke up late and very fuzzy headed. There was no power at all. The batteries were completely discharged. It was raining and very windy. The generator wouldn't start.

Son of a ...

Continue reading "I'm back!"
Posted by Charles at 09:04 AM | Comments (14)

October 25, 2003

G'night for real this time

I was about to turn in but I started thinking about some of Benny's stories and just got an urge to use them. And I did. It was flowing down like magic, like I write when I'm in the zone. I've got two complete short stories done and I'm working on a way to incorporate those as chapters in a novel. I'm writing!

I guess my motor problems were divine providence because Benny and Gail have proven to be the bowie knife to my writer's noose.

But it's late now and my eyes won't stay open. I'm going to go take my evening constitutional and hit the sheets.

G'night all (for real this time).

Posted by Charles at 11:26 PM | Comments (1)

Happiness is a warm outboard

I didn't get to the marina again today. What was it this time, you ask? With my recent lucky streak you might imagine that the boat sunk or Benny blew me off or that I was attacked by the infamous Mazinaw Lake Monster. You didn't know that Mazinaw had a lake monster? Either did I until today. More on that later.

But it was none of those things. Benny got here right on time and we decided we'd just tow my boat over to the marina. It made a lot more sense than what we'd originally planned - going over and having a mechanic come back over to the boat.

We hooked the boats up and were just coming out of the cove (Benny driving his boat, me using the dead outboard as a rudder to steer mine) when the tarp I'd put over the outboard (to keep debris out of the open cylinders) flew off. I yelled for Benny to stop the boat. Took a bit of doing - he's got a 200 hp Evinrude on his and it's loud as hell. I caught his eye when he looked back to check the tow and he pulled up.

Continue reading "Happiness is a warm outboard"
Posted by Charles at 09:42 PM | Comments (0)

EULA goes to the next level

This article at Ed Foster's Gripe Log absolutely floored me. Stots (a tool manufacturer) has added a shrinkwrap EULA to their TemplateMaster jig template. This tool is used to make jigs that are virtually identical to itself.

...TemplateMaster may be used “in only one shop by the original purchaser only” and that “you may not allow individuals that did not purchase the original Product (to) use the Product or any templates produced using the Product…”

Continue reading "EULA goes to the next level"
Posted by Charles at 08:40 AM | Comments (0)

Chuck needs more sleep and less hangover

Never try to outdrink a Quebecian who is fixing your drinks. They cheat. Bad. Damn my head hurts. No nausea though, thankfully. A couple Excedrins and a pitcher of water will help.

I had a wierd wake-up this morning, probably from the hangover. I was snoring peacefully away, oblivious to my cranial pains, when Becky gave me a gentle shake and said "Wake up, Sweet Meat" in that ultra sexy, husky, half asleep voice. Sweet Meat is the pet name that she gave me. I mumbled "Whuh?" or something equally witty and she said "Get up or you'll miss your fishing". My sleepy brain registered that not only did my lovely Becky not mind me going fishing early in the morning, she was actually going as far as to wake me up to make sure I went.

Continue reading "Chuck needs more sleep and less hangover"
Posted by Charles at 08:05 AM | Comments (4)

October 24, 2003

They grow 'em tough in Iceland

Icelandic "Iceman" grabs shark to save men

This fisherman captain ran into the water, grabbed a 660lb shark, dragged it onto the shore and stabbed it to death with his belt knife. Now THAT'S tough.

Posted by Charles at 01:54 PM | Comments (3)

Where are the Mounties when you need them?

Or at least a Park Ranger. I was about a mile an a half into my hike and I got the bejeezus scared out of me. Yes, that's right, I no longer have any bejeezus. I was walking along, admiring the panorama of color all around me when I heard a crash a ways behind me and something big tearing ass right for me through the brush and fallen leaves. I jumped behind a tree just slightly faster than I have ever moved before in my life and whipped around to see what horrid monster of the deep forest was about to disembowel me. Bear? Wolf? Rabid bunny? Nope. Nothing at all. And everything was perfectly quiet. Spooky, freaking quiet. I'm talking Steven King spooky.

Continue reading "Where are the Mounties when you need them?"
Posted by Charles at 01:04 PM | Comments (5)

And...he's off!

I'm heading out for Trek Around The Lake, Part 2. I've actually planned and prepared this time. I've got my backpack with lunch and a couple bottles of water and I'm wearing boots instead of sneakers. Hey, that's as much outdoorsman as I've got in me.

I think I'm out of dumbass mode. I ran the generator and thoroughly charged the batteries and refilled the house water system. At least if I screw up again and don't get to the marina I can tell you about it tonight. ;)

Posted by Charles at 08:29 AM | Comments (0)

October 23, 2003

Chuck is a dumbass

What a freaking moron! I feel about as intelligent as the average stamp right now.

Okay, so I started walking around the perimeter of the lake towards the marina. It was a gorgeous walk. I mean breathtaking. I was having a great time and all of my pissed-offedness over the boat evaporated. The trails aren't straightforward (they're animal trails so what would you expect?) so I was doing a good amount of doubling back and forging through on my own but it was all cool. There't not a whole lot of underbrush here so I didn't have any real problem. I just kept close to the lake so I wouldn't get lost and I was making good progress. I stopped by the handful of cabins that I came near but all of them were either unoccupied (it's post season now so I sort of expected this) or their tenants were out on the lake.

About an hour into my little trek I discovered just what an idiot I am. You see, a good chunk of the lakeshore on Mazinaw isn't shore at all. It's really really big cliffs. They're gorgeous too and have quite a history and following. They just aren't that gorgeous when you catch site of them and realize that they are between you and the marina and that you are an incredible dumbass because you should have walked around the lake sunwise instead of widdershins.

So I'm back now after trekking my dumb ass to the cabin again. It's too late to make the trip around the other side of the lake before it gets dark so I'll put that walk off until tomorrow.

For tonight I'll fish off of the dock a bit and then try again to get writing (but that doesn't seem to be going anywhere, unfortunately).

Posted by Charles at 03:41 PM | Comments (1)

We like our celebs hot and stupid

What happened to clever and witty celebrities? Where is the next Bob Hope? Why is it impossible for somebody like Janis Joplin to get popular in this day and age? All we get are mannequins molded after Barbie with the intellect of the average grasshopper like Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson.

On a recent episode of her MTV reality show "Newlyweds," Simpson didn't know if she was having chicken or fish while she was eating "Chicken of the Sea" tuna.

Simpson said she's good-natured about the flak she's received for the mistake, as well as for other mix-ups on the show — like thinking Buffalo wings are made of buffalo meat.

"I think it's fun. I've made a mess up on national television and everyone has been giving me a hard time about it, but it's better just to sit back and laugh at yourself," she said. "I do have my ditzy moments."

Ditzy moments? How about ditzy carreer? Back when talent, skill and intellect mattered you would have been lucky to be a back-up singer or a fly girl. Your only contribution to your own success is a tight ass and implants. Your manager gets you your songs, your choreographer does all of your moves. All you do is jiggle and spew.

Continue reading "We like our celebs hot and stupid"
Posted by Charles at 11:10 AM | Comments (2)

Senate does something worthwhile

Senate approves anti-spam bill

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- The U.S. Senate voted Wednesday to outlaw deceptive "spam" e-mail, and set up a "do-not-spam" registry for those who do not want to receive unsolicited commercial e-mail.

Similar legislation in the House of Representatives stalled as lawmakers try to hammer out differences between two competing bills. The Bush Administration said it supported the bill.

I don't know how enforceable this is as much modern internet harrassment originates from foreign countries but it's a step in the right direction.

The bill would not outlaw all unsolicited commercial e-mail, focusing instead on the fraudulent or deceptive messages estimated to make up two-thirds of all unsolicited commercial e-mail.

Oh. Never mind. They aren't serious after all.

The bill would also prohibit marketers from sending unsolicited messages to consumers who place their e-mail addresses on a "do-not-spam" registry, similar to the popular "do-not-call" anti-telemarketing measure launched earlier this month by the Federal Trade Commission.

Because that's working out oh so well with telemarketing.

State and federal law enforcers and Internet service providers such as EarthLink, Inc. would be allowed to pursue spammers, but individual users could not sue directly.

This is sounding worse and worse. Now they are creating legislation that defines an act as criminal and are making recompense for violations available only to corporate entities.

Forget my title for this post. I'll change it to Senate Maintains Collective Head Up Ass Despite Golden Opportunity when I get around to it.

Posted by Charles at 10:31 AM | Comments (0)

I wonder how long that hike will take

Definitely looks like I'll be taking a walk around the lake. I pulled the spark plugs from the motor and there is water in the engine. I'm not a mechanic but I know that is pretty bad. I have no idea how the cylinders can get water in them, though. I mean the thing was running just fine right to the point where I shut it off last time. Wouldn't it have died if there was water in there? I'm not talking a little water, either. The damn things are full so you can actually see the water right up to the hole the spark plug goes into.

Crap. I'll mess around here for a while and walk around to the marina after lunch.

Unless there's some handy mechanic reading this who can help me out with a virtual engine overhaul?

Posted by Charles at 10:07 AM | Comments (11)

Mither Frikkin Brikkin Racken

That's my Yosemite Sam curse, by the way. What could have me so peeved on such a glorious (yet chilly) autumn morning? What could put me into such a foul humor when I am surrounded by nature's tranquility and a panorama of peaceful colors?

It's the boat motor. Won't start. Not a chug or even a gasp. Just pull the cord over and over again and hear the disinterested sound of an outboard motor ignoring me. Choke is fine. Primer is fine. Gas if fine. All the wires are in their correct positions. It was running fine when I shut it off last. WTF?

Continue reading "Mither Frikkin Brikkin Racken"
Posted by Charles at 07:53 AM | Comments (0)

October 22, 2003

Critters & Varmints & Beasties, Oh My!

The cabin and its environs are in ship shape. Amazing the sort of unconcious mess that a guy can leave over a week's time. Of course I did have some help. Some beastie attacked the mulch pile. Half rotten veggies, leaves and less identifiable stuff strewn all over the garden (already harvested before I got here so no big deal) and the path leading back into the woods (big deal, this is the path I use to take my evening constitutional).

That took way longer to clean up than it should have. Mostly because the smell was so bad I had to stop to retch every couple minutes or so. Nasty! Must have been a raccoon as there's nothing bigger than that up in these woods.

But it's all cleaned up now and so is the rest of the grounds and the cabin itself. I finished a steak on a stick and now I'm sitting back with a Blue and watching the stars. Beats the hell out of network television, I guarantee.

Posted by Charles at 10:44 PM | Comments (1)

Can't resist...must punditize...

Students Offer Bondage Class at College

VICTORIA, British Columbia - University of Victoria student curiosity about sex with ropes and knots has led a campus club to offer a bondage class because of concern for safety.

The "Bondage 101" workshop, not part of the university's official course curriculum, is scheduled Wednesday evening on campus by UVic Pride Collective, a gay-oriented student organization funded partly through student fees.

The group recruited bondage experts from an alternative lifestyle group to teach the three-hour evening class, "a workshop about safe use of ropes in a sexualized context," [spokesman Michael] Joyce said.

Where the hell were these people when I was in school? And why is this in Canada - shouldn't it be Berkeley?

Seriously though, shouldn't there be some limit to what student contributed fees are used for? Sexual fetish instruction is well beyond any conceivable line I can imagine.

Posted by Charles at 09:49 AM | Comments (5)

When fishing poles attack

Well yesterday was my first day back to a noon fishing schedule. I got hurt. I was baiting my hook when the damned pole fell into the lake and sunk like a stone. It took the hook right through my thumb. I screamed bloody murder while grabbing for the line with my other hand. I got it on the second try, just before the hook tore through my thumb. I yanked the pole back up into the boat and sat there cradling my hand. After a minute or so I was able to go through the tackle box and get the pliers but there was no hope of pulling it out - that sucker was set deep. I pushed it through enough to expose the barbs, snipped them off and then backed the damned thing out. I was so mad I picked up the rod and threw it as far as I could. It landed with a splash and bobbed softly up and down, bouyed by its cork base. That's right. It was kept afloat by its cork base.

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Posted by Charles at 08:04 AM | Comments (7)

October 21, 2003

I caught a crappie "This big"

Gotta love a fish named "crappie". The problem is that I didn't catch a crappie "this big" or any crappie at all.

The first couple days out I got a couple of nibbles but that was about it. I knew there were some fish because I lost my worm every time I cast. It was very odd to get nibbles but no bites. Big fish bite, little fish nibble. I was there late in the season so the fish should have been on the largish size. Even though I was fishing at a bad time of day the place I was anchoring was usually teeming with rock bass and crappie. I had pulled them in hand over fist when I was up here as a kid. I started actually fishing then. The next couple days I fished presun, mid day, late, you name it. Never more than a nibble and I never got a worm back once it was dunked. Where the hell were the big fish?

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Posted by Charles at 07:51 AM | Comments (0)

I am a lousy blogger

Okay, I admit it. I got this blog all set up for me and I had every intention to use it but every time I tried to blog something it just didn't work. Not the MT - I mean me. Everything I wrote just seemed trite and stupid and I'd either not post it or I'd delete it after I reread it because it was so stupid. I think it was because I just wasn't into it. The subjects weren't mine and I'm just so sick of punditing (I do it for a living, why the hell did I think I'd enjoy doing it for a hobby?)

But all that has changed. I've got some interesting stuff to write on now. My own little mystery that I'm living right now. I owe you a bit of background from the past week and then I'll get into the good stuff:

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Posted by Charles at 07:25 AM | Comments (1)

October 17, 2003

Welcome to Writer's Noose

Hello all and welcome to my blog. Odd name for a blog, eh? I'll get to the reasons for it in a little bit. First things first. My thanks to Pixy Misa for giving me a spot here in Munuviana and to Jim for convincing me to start it and giving me the intro to Pixy Misa.

Now, on to the name of the blog. This requires a little bit of background but I'll keep it short for you.

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Posted by Charles at 12:04 PM | Comments (5)